&$(/§#*?!

So I'm visiting some patients this evening and one has the latest issue of S&S showing the "Halp Us Jon Carry" photo.

The conversation in the room went something like this:

"&$)=§#... "

"$§)$? #& *)"=)/$???"

"#$§+$ &"#+*!!"

"Bwahahahaha!!!"

Feel free to fill in the blanks yourself.